One Year Down...Forever To Go

Chad and I have made it through our first year (go us!).   For those who follow us on Facebook, you know that we love each other very much on purpose and out loud, but has our "happy ever after" been perfect? Well, we're both human, so you can probably guess the answer. ;)

"How's married life treating you?"  I get that question ALL the time.  If I'm honest, that answer can vary day to day (sometimes hour to hour!).  If you ask me right after he's cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen, you'll get a resounding, "It's AMAZING!"  But if you ask me after I've had to explain my schedule AGAIN, RIGHT AFTER I just detailed it for him, but he wasn't listening, the answer will be significantly different. And I'm sure you'd get different answers from him depending on what's going on with me too.

There's a few other things I've learned in year one:
*Men and women almost never see things through the same eyes...and that's okay.
*Talking...REALLY talking...is vital.
*Sometimes, a hug can go a long way.
*Communication only works when you are both listening.
*Laughing together is important.  And, being able to laugh at yourself can be even more important.
*Dividing up chores and keeping a tally is a horrible idea.  Feeling that what you contribute is acknowledged and appreciated can almost always provide "balance".
*Being in love doesn't necessarily mean you love everything about your partner. Loving them means accepting those imperfections (as they accept yours).
*Apologize...and mean it.
*Forgive...and mean it.
*Holding hands can help you weather storms.
*The amount of laundry you can do in any given week will far exceed your expectations!
*Your "to do" list never gets shorter.  Don't stress it.
*Don't skip doing devotionals together.  I know sometimes, it's impossible, but make every effort.  It truly makes a difference.

And, in answer to the question, "What's married life like?"...marriage is what you make it.  It isn't magically happy.  You don't automatically stay best friends.  There's actually more working against that than for it.  But when you make God a part of your marriage and you are committed to each other and the vows you made, marriage really can be amazing.  And...it doesn't hurt when he looks at you like this.  :)

I Want to be More Like Her

I had the privilege of meeting a beautiful, young lady a couple months back. She was helping backstage at a show my husband was doing.  She's friendly and a talker, so we hit it off right off the bat. :)

If you met Bailey, you'd notice pretty quickly that she isn't what most people would consider to be "normal". Some might call her "handicapped" or "special".  Yes...she's missing something that most people have.  A lot of things, actually.  Bitterness, sarcasm, jealousy, prejudice, envy, pride...these things mean nothing to Bailey. So many things that make us "normal"...things that make us behave (or misbehave) the way we do are simply not a part of her.

Instead, with Bailey, you get non-stop chatter. You'll hear about how whatever is going on at the time is the "best ever".  She'll talk about her favorite people...a lot! She'll tell you that you're pretty and how she looks forward to seeing you and talking to you.  She'll ask you questions about what's going on in your life...and if there's something bad going on (like a sick dog), she'll tell you she's going to pray about it.

Sometimes, Bailey will talk about other people in her life.  You may hear her describe someone was "more autistic than me" with such nonchalance, you'll look around to see if anyone is getting offended.  But this isn't a bad-word, or a put-down from Bailey.  It's a fact.  She sees the people around her as people...not as their disability, even though she knows it's there.

While she talks, you'll notice that she bounces from one foot to the other and her hands wave around as if she's part Italian.  Her face lights up with excitement as she talks and her words get faster and faster as she tries to share her joy with you.  And it works.

You can't help but smile as she talks.  And when you walk away, she'll have said something that makes you feel better...maybe about the situation, maybe about yourself, maybe about the world in general...but you WILL feel better.

The next time you see Bailey, you're going to get more of the same.  Whatever is going on NOW is the "best ever", she'll still talk about those favorite people and she'll tell you some of the same things she's already told you about them.  She'll still be smiling and excited and you'll still get wrapped up in her bubble of happiness.

Here's something that's a little different than what you might get with others...

She'll tell you she's been praying about whatever was going on before and ask how it is now. You may have even forgotten about the issue by now, but when you tell her it's resolved, you'll see the relief in her face. She'll bounce and smile and say, "yeah, I was praying about that"...and you'll know that she was.  And you'll know God was listening.